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Plot 00036 My corporate job 2014 — 2026 It paid the bills. It also killed my soul. 4,127 mourners 2,860 candles Plot 00044 My second startup 2022 — 2025 Pre-revenue. Post-everything. 3,402 mourners 2,211 candles Plot 00112 My 20s 2010 — 2020 Spent entirely on rent and bad decisions. 3,311 mourners 2,015 candles Plot 00051 The relationship I defended 2020 — 2025 Everyone knew. I argued with all of them. 3,188 mourners 2,402 candles Plot 00087 My ex 2019 — 2024 Not dead. Just dead to me. 2,988 mourners 1,744 candles Plot 00058 My first company 2017 — 2022 Eleven employees, one bad quarter, no regrets I will admit to. 2,977 mourners 2,144 candles Plot 00098 My NFT collection 2021 — 2023 Right-click, saved, buried. 2,744 mourners 1,902 candles Plot 00126 My childhood bedroom 1996 — 2026 Now an office. The posters went first. 2,455 mourners 2,011 candles Plot 00133 My team at the old place 2018 — 2023 Everyone scattered. The group chat is a graveyard. 2,311 mourners 1,788 candles Plot 00104 My father's old car 1998 — 2026 Two hundred thousand miles and one glovebox full of receipts. 2,211 mourners 1,877 candles Plot 00119 The house we almost bought March — August Outbid by nine thousand and a cash buyer. 2,088 mourners 1,466 candles Plot 00098 My startup 2022 — 2025 Pre-revenue. Post-everything. 2,044 mourners 1,388 candles Plot 00176 My situationship 2024 — 2026 Neither of us ever said what it was. Now it is over. 1,912 mourners 1,355 candles Plot 00236 The thing I said at the party 23:14 — Forever It still visits me at three in the morning. 1,877 mourners 1,344 candles Plot 00204 Tom's single life 2010 — 2026 Fought bravely. Tinder won. 1,876 mourners 1,102 candles Plot 00198 My annual bonus 2025 — 2026 Replaced by a company-wide email about resilience. 1,744 mourners 1,188 candles Plot 00190 My crypto portfolio 2021 — 2026 Down bad, then down worse, then down permanently. 1,655 mourners 1,204 candles Plot 00211 Sarah's 20s 2016 — 2026 Gone, but the screenshots remain. 1,533 mourners 967 candles Plot 00229 My degree 2013 — 2017 Forty thousand in debt for a skill I have never once used. 1,533 mourners 1,088 candles Plot 00214 The office friendship 2019 — 2024 Ended the day one of us left. We still say we should catch up. 1,466 mourners 1,023 candles Plot 00243 My first flat 2017 — 2021 Damp, loud, and the best four years so far. 1,422 mourners 1,099 candles Plot 00318 My diet Monday — Tuesday Died surrounded by loved ones, mostly bread. 1,402 mourners 890 candles Plot 00229 Student me 2016 — 2021 Ate for two euros a day and was somehow happier. 1,290 mourners 844 candles Plot 00221 My teenage band 2006 — 2009 Three gigs. One of them was a wedding. We were not invited back. 1,288 mourners 977 candles Plot 00402 My gym membership January — January Used twice. Paid for eleven months. 1,188 mourners 733 candles Plot 00455 Procrastination 1992 — 2026 Hopefully. 1,094 mourners 812 candles Plot 00478 The group chat 2018 — 2025 Everyone left. Nobody said goodbye. 977 mourners 690 candles Plot 00501 My side project 2023 — 2023 Bought the domain. That was the whole thing. 903 mourners 615 candles Plot 00733 Sunday 00:00 — 23:59 Died of anticipatory dread about Monday. 855 mourners 604 candles Plot 00822 My Tinder account 2018 — 2026 Swiped eleven thousand times. Met four people. 855 mourners 566 candles Plot 00640 My attention span 1998 — 2026 Wait, what? 812 mourners 470 candles Plot 00869 My sourdough starter March 2020 — June 2020 Named Kevin. Died of neglect. Deserved better. 811 mourners 644 candles Plot 00918 My ex's taste in music 2019 — 2024 The playlists survived the relationship. Barely. 802 mourners 588 candles Plot 00612 My sleep schedule 2020 — 2026 Last seen at 3:47 AM watching a video about volcanoes. 744 mourners 501 candles Plot 00880 My boss's open door policy 2021 — 2026 The door was open. The calendar was not. 744 mourners 501 candles Plot 00771 My fear of texting first 2011 — 2026 Buried with the message still unsent. 733 mourners 512 candles Plot 00818 My app idea 2024 — 2024 Someone else built it. It has four million users. 733 mourners 488 candles Plot 00951 My belief in the restructure Q1 — Q3 It was going to make things simpler. 733 mourners 522 candles Plot 00841 My commute 2016 — 2026 Four years of my life, spent standing. 699 mourners 455 candles Plot 00655 My motivation Monday 9:00 — Monday 9:12 It was brief but it was beautiful. 690 mourners 388 candles Plot 00782 My work-life balance 2019 — 2026 Survived by 412 unread Slack messages. 690 mourners 455 candles Plot 00902 My side hustle 2024 — 2025 Two customers. One of them was my mother. 690 mourners 466 candles Plot 00668 My New Year's resolution Jan 1 — Jan 4 Survived by an unopened yoga mat. 655 mourners 402 candles Plot 00885 My old phone 2018 — 2026 Held together by a cracked screen and eight years of photographs. 655 mourners 488 candles Plot 00978 The version of me that woke up at five Week 1 — Week 1 He was insufferable. He is not missed. 644 mourners 466 candles Plot 00806 My hairline 1994 — 2026 It retreated with dignity. 621 mourners 402 candles Plot 00701 My patience 1995 — 2026 Killed by a man who replied 'k'. 611 mourners 419 candles Plot 00940 My productivity system 2023 — 2023 Spent six weeks building it. Used it for three days. 611 mourners 433 candles Plot 00679 My open tabs 2022 — 2026 All 340 of them. Gone in one accidental click. 588 mourners 344 candles Plot 00791 My browser tabs 2021 — 2026 Ninety-four of them. All essential. None read. 588 mourners 371 candles Plot 00896 My five year plan 2021 — 2022 Made it fourteen months. Ambitious from the start. 588 mourners 402 candles Plot 00967 My taste in 2013 2013 — 2013 The photographs are evidence. The photographs remain. 566 mourners 411 candles Plot 00690 My impulse control 2003 — 2026 Last words: 'add to cart'. 540 mourners 322 candles Plot 00744 My Duolingo streak Day 1 — Day 6 The owl knows what he did. 522 mourners 301 candles Plot 00712 The office plant nobody watered 2019 — 2026 We all watched. Nobody acted. 466 mourners 288 candles Plot 00907 My Friday nights 2012 — 2026 Replaced by a sofa and genuine enthusiasm about it. 455 mourners 322 candles Plot 00923 The diet that started Monday Monday 07:00 — Monday 12:40 Cause of death: a colleague's birthday. 411 mourners 277 candles Plot 00801 My landlord's promises 2023 — 2026 The boiler is still broken. 402 mourners 244 candles Plot 00721 My dream of being a DJ 2015 — 2019 The controller is in my mother's basement. 401 mourners 231 candles Plot 00852 My inbox zero 09:14 — 09:31 It was beautiful while it lasted. 401 mourners 277 candles Plot 00755 My houseplant March — April I was told it was impossible to kill. 388 mourners 244 candles Plot 00973 My savings account January — January It was there. Then the boiler broke. 388 mourners 255 candles Plot 00858 My flatmate's dishes Tuesday — Still there Buried in the sink, where they remain. 377 mourners 201 candles Plot 00912 My 2020 holiday Booked 2019 — Cancelled 2020 The voucher expired too. 366 mourners 255 candles Plot 00766 My back 2024 — 2024 Picked up a sock. That was it. That was the injury. 344 mourners 198 candles Plot 00829 My student loan optimism 2015 — 2026 The balance went up. I have stopped asking why. 344 mourners 208 candles Plot 00874 My plan to learn Spanish 2022 — 2026 Buenos dias. That is the whole eulogy. 344 mourners 233 candles Plot 00956 My gaming backlog 2014 — 2026 Two hundred and six titles. Four finished. 344 mourners 233 candles Plot 00934 My corporate values training 09:00 — 17:00 Eight hours. One certificate. No values. 322 mourners 211 candles Plot 00834 My marathon training plan Week 1 — Week 2 Ran once. Bought the trainers first. 312 mourners 190 candles Plot 00777 Dry January Jan 1 — Jan 2 Cause of death: a Tuesday. 299 mourners 177 candles Plot 00891 The plant I was trusted with April — May Watered enthusiastically, then never again. 299 mourners 233 candles Plot 00812 My fantasy football season August — September Zero wins. Full confidence throughout. 288 mourners 166 candles Plot 00929 My standing desk 2022 — 2022 Stood for one week. Sat for two years. 288 mourners 190 candles Plot 00962 My patience in traffic 07:40 — 07:44 Survived by the horn. 277 mourners 166 candles Plot 00847 My book club 2023 — 2024 Two chapters read. Nine bottles finished. 266 mourners 155 candles Plot 00863 My vinyl phase 2019 — 2021 Sold the records. Kept the personality. 233 mourners 144 candles Plot 00788 My old password 2011 — 2026 It knew too much. 211 mourners 133 candles Plot 00945 My old signature 2004 — 2026 Replaced by an initial and a shrug. 199 mourners 122 candles

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